Friday 24 March 2017

Cleaning Lady Services

Junkers are pretty rare. There is only a few members in the committee and we very seldom see others involved in the same actions. However around a week ago we noticed something interesting in Jita local.

Cleaning Lady

A capsuleer by the name of Cleaning Lady was advertising junker services in order to help new pilots in his corporation. He takes junk donations (from anywhere) and then hauls it to a base, where it is then handed out to people in need. What a novel idea.

There is a forum post where services are are advertised. https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&m=6824309

Cleaning Lady asked me to encourage anyone who is interested to just contact directly with questions or indeed junk contracts :)

Monday 13 March 2017

Death of a Ganker

Everyone has a part to play in EVE Online. Even the lowly Junker has an important role in the grand scheme of things. Many consider the Junker life to be mundane or repetitive but sometimes a little action comes our way and keeps us on our toes.


The Junk Committee received an an anonymous tip that Suroken (0.7) is plagued with careless litterbug mission runners and explorers who do not tidy up. Needless to say it was our duty to inspect and handle the cornucopia of wreckage left in this system. While on patrol Junker c4binfever came across a large wreckage site in a dangerous Gurista 4/10 DED site. The Gurista pirates had set up a communications relay, protected by a large force to broadcast their intelligence. Capsuleers KongaDrakos and Obi-One Dumani were on hand to tackle the pirates, however did not remember to clean up after themselves.

Junker c4binfever followed the capsuleers to provide some helpful fire support and to remove the wrecks from space. For some unknown reason this was met with resistance from the capsuleers, who threatened Junker c4binfever by targeting him and launching drones in a show of force. This questionable action was ignored at first while junker duties continued, scooping up Metal Scraps from untagged containers. Unknown to Junker c4binfever, the capsuleer KongaDrakos was a ganker, and also infuriated that someone would clean up his mess. (Some people enjoy living in their own filth). Without so much as a warning, the evil KongaDrakos opened fire on Junker c4binfever who started evasive manoeuvres around the Guristas base. Our Junker hero returned fire on the foe and awaited the CONCORD backup, who arrived promptly and destroyed the hostile Vexor ship.

KongaDrakos
the evil ganker KongaDrakos

Capsuleer Obi-One Dumani could only watch in horror as his ganker friend KongaDrakos was torn apart by CONCORD fire and lost his ship. Meanwhile Junker c4binfever began cleaning up the mess, scooping the remains of the Vexor.

Despite appearances we Junkers are a humble bunch, and although sometimes we are attacked or hated it is our duty to keep space safe and clean for everyone. Junker c4binfever felt empathy towards the ganker, and began cleaning some of the surrounding wrecks in order perhaps give something back to the ganker. It was at this point where capsuleer Obi-One Dumani took it upon himself to avenge his fallen comrade, and launch heavy scourge missiles at our Junker's little frgate. Again taking evasive manoeuvres, the Junker sprung into action returning fire on the drake. Chipping away the massive battlecruiser shield tank. Truly a David and Goliath situation. As the drake began to fall, Obi-One Dumani begged for forgiveness and wished to be left alone. Junker c4binfever requested a small donation to The Junk Committee as penance but this was not received well.

[ 20:14:52 ] Obi-One Dumani > pls dont do it dude, i beg u
[ 20:15:02 ] c4binfever > why not, you shot me first :(
[ 20:15:25 ] c4binfever > if you would donate a modest amount of isk to The Junk Committee i'll stop fire and you can go free :-)
[ 20:15:54 ] Obi-One Dumani > fuck you
[ 20:15:58 ] c4binfever > oh dear
[ 20:16:01 ] c4binfever > this was the wrong answer, there is only one thing i can do
tried to take advantage of the junker
Obi-One Dumani thought he could shoot Junkers without consequence. And when caught he simply wanted to be set free.

Anytime Junker services are provided we like to remind people that shares or associate memberships can be bought, so that everyone can enjoy flying with the Junkers. Despite the hostility against us we offer the opportunity to invest instead of hate. If you are reading this Obi-One Dumani and KongaDrakos, it is not too late to get in touch and fly with us — you need only ask!

Friday 24 February 2017

The dangers of MTUs

For those of you who dont know, MTUs (Mobile Tractor Unit) are deployable structures that suck in any surrounding wrecks you own. They use an on board tractor beam to pull things in before they loot and store the goods within. A dedicated junker will never pass the opportunity to recycle some abandoned loot, and will take it upon his/herself to clean up by opening the MTU manually. Inevitably this sometimes requires a little brute force.

Killing an MTU is sometimes frowned upon by other capsuleers, resulting in name calling, threats or sometimes even CONCORD bounties. We junkers aren't popular folks, but we like to keep space clean and thats what matters!

Capsuleer Smekla naikintojas carelessly abandoned his MTU in the Gidali system which was picked up by junkers Gerel and c4binfever, a job well done.
Unfortunately for Smekla this was not a lesson well learned, as the following day he left an MTU floating in space for a second time. Once more the junkers were on hand, but this time made a shocking discovery:

repeatedly abandons his MTUs

Smekla's ship had been sucked into his own MTU! You can see his ship's modules in the killmail. Further investigation leads that Smekla is still alive, and luckily avoided being crushed in beside the remnants of his ship.

Another sad story can be told about what happened to Rodger Pattison, who thought he was making an investment when he purchased a 'Packrat' Mobile Tractor Unit. Instead the MTU owned him - and sucked his faction fit ship inside. Our attempts to contact Rodger have failed, so if you read this Rodger please tell us you are now safe!

a shiny ship meets a gruesome end

If you are an MTU user please be careful when using these death traps. Tractor beam are not toys.
Should you like to know more about MTU hunting, our friend Pix Severus has been doing it for a while and runs a nice blog on the subject. https://mtuhunter.wordpress.com/